I miss my friend...

I lost a dear friend several years ago to a horrible car accident and I always get melancholy around Christmas. Josh was a friend to everyone, and I do mean everyone. He'd give the shirt off his back for anyone that needed it. I remember him being there for me several times I needed him. When one of our other friends had a bad car wreck on his graduation day, Josh rushed to Vanderbilt to be there. I could go on and on about the wonderful things he did but this blog isn't that big!
One of the hardest parts is that I pass by the spot where his accident was twice a day going to and from work and sometimes more. There is a lovely cross with his name on it. Some days I pass by and have happy thoughts and smile. Some days, like today, I pass by and get sad. Christmas gets me every time. You see, Josh was in his 20's when he died and he never got the chance to celebrate Christmas as a parent. He never will get that chance either. I look at my kids and think about how I'll slip Santa gifts in and what I would do if they woke up and found us "being Santa". My friend will never have that joy. He'll never see the wonderous smile on a childs face when they wake to see what Santa left and the cookies eaten.
His family... Oh, that gets me too. There are loving parents and 3 sisters that have to celebrate each holiday without their son and brother. There are neices and nephews that don't get to play with their new toys from their uncle. As a parent, I cannot fathom how empty it feels to see that empty seat that the Thanksgiving table. As a sister, I cannot imagine not having my sis to call when I'm having a bad day. As a friend, I cannot begin to understand why I can't call Josh when I need a shoulder to cry on.
Yes, I miss my friend but I will smile through the tears because I know that he is happy. He is in the presence of our Lord! He will celebrate Jesus' birth WITH JESUS!!! How amazing is that thought?! And it's that thought that puts a smile on my face when I begin to get sad. Yes, I miss my friend but I know I'll see him again someday and what a joyous day it'll be!
To Josh- I miss your smile, your laugh, your kindheartedness. But I'll see you soon and I'll hug your neck when I do! PS...tell Jesus happy birthday for me!